BOYS? NEVEREVERLAND UP MY ASS . . .
Rumors have recently surfaced regarding a string of child abductions among the members of the Krewe of Drips & Discharges. There has been an ongoing series of strange disappearances of young male members of the Krewe. In every case, the victim turns up several days later telling tales about being lured to a place called “Nevereverland”, some kind of abusement park located far away, in the California hills. Their reports included frequent mention of “pixie dust”, faeries, pirates, indians, and a strange man -- wearing only a single sequined glove and ranting about sleep overs.
While details are still sketchy, some information has begun to surface. A youngster, who we will simply call Michael, reported being under the influence of a strange plastic-faced figure claiming to be called Peter Man. Peter Man possesses a small ape and a huge ego. M. spoke of battles with silk clad pirates, Wendy O. Williams’s look-alikes, feathered Tiger Lilies and a band of street urchins searching for their mummy. They were lamenting the disappearance of “Big George”, a legendary Immoral figure reported to have disappeared to Nevereverland sometime after last years Krewe du Vieux parade. Rumor has it; George was last seen trading anecdotes with Fatty Arbuckle. He also spoke of another man in a black wig, wearing tights, and having a large fetish paddle in place of one of his hands. He was reported to be running around Nevereverland, swinging his paddle at everyone and screaming, “Just wait until I get you Peter Man! You will get it in the end!”
When Michael was found by authorities, he was wandering aimlessly through the streets of the French Quarter, clad only in a nightshirt, slippers, top hat and a silly grin. He claimed the trip was quite a “Thriller” for a young man.
These events seem to have triggered a series of recovered memories for recovering members of the Krewe of Drips and Discharges. Many have recently been spotted roaming the Bywater, dressed as pirates and waifs, re-enacting painful memories of childhood past and an abundance of Mardi Gras excesses. They talk incessantly of probing, then suddenly burst into song and dance numbers about Billy Jean King, disowning her amorous advances, and her claims of Peter Man fathering her bastard child. The group is reported to be searching for their lost youth and on a “Quest for Immorality”. There were also reports of a covert mission underway in the French Quarter in search of one “Tinkerbell”, a local faerie and source of rare, high-grade pixie dust. Tinkerbell is rumored to inhabit the balconies at the State Palace Theater, and to be a connoisseur of fine music and debauchery. Sources indicated she could be found flying high around there sometime after 9:00 PM on Saturday, February 7th.